Labels – Who Needs Them?

Hello Friends!

All through this site, I will probably throw around words and labels that you may or may not have heard of.  Below are some of the labels that I consider my core identity labels – and what each of those labels means to me.  Please understand this is how I define these labels for myself. However you, and others, define yourself is totally cool and totally valid. These are what these words mean when I use them for myself.

I’ll talk more about them soon, I’m sure. Feel free to ask questions, drop comments, send me an email, etc!

Love always,




To me, queer is anyone who defines themselves as not heterosexual or cisgender. People who identify this way often reject heteronormativity. Note of caution: Be careful using this word to define others. My recommendation is to only use it to refer to others who self-identify specifically using the word “queer.” Historically, queer has been used as a derogative slur. However in recent years, many people – myself included – have found power in reclaiming the word and identity “queer.”

Cis Gender (aka “cis”)

In it’s most basic terms, being cis gender is the state of not being transgender. My gender identity (who I know myself to be) aligns with the sex I was assigned at birth. In my case, the doctor declared me to be a girl – and I’ve grown up and that matches.  “Cis” is a scientific term you can look up if you like – but the term here came about as a way to define people who were not transgender by terms better than we were before.

Polyamorous (aka “poly”)

Polyamorous is a form of Ethical Non Monogamy. It is the practice of having more than one romantic and/or sexual relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of ALL parties involved. I believe the heart has the ability to love many people, and I found monogamy didn’t work for me.

Pansexual/Panromantic (aka “pan”)

To me, being pansexual/panromantic means being sexually or romantically attracted to a person regardless of their sex, gender, or gender identity.

To me the difference between bisexual and pansexual is that bisexual means being attracted to more than one gender – whereas pansexual means being attracted regardless of gender. For me personally – I may be attracted to men, women, agender folks, gender fluid folks, two spirited folks, etc. . Note that this is how I personally define this definition and differences, and there are other views out there in the community. 

Greysexual (aka “grey ace”)

Greysexual, for me, is somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I don’t fully identify as asexual (defined as a lack of sexual attraction), but also not as allosexual (people who regularly experience sexual attraction). So this label seems to fit best for me for now at least. I’m still learning about it and what it means to me. 


I deal with a variety of things that make my brain work differently. This is also something I keep learning about. I have a few different things I deal with including mental health issues (depression, anxiety, PTSD) as well as ADD. I have a slight audio processing delay and I have aphantasia.


In addition to the above neuro and mental health stuff, I have a garden salad variety of physical issues and disabilities as well. The ones I most often deal with are degenerative disc disorder, arthritis, and chronic pain from fibromyalgia.


This label is just kind of my way of life. My partner started calling me princess in 2003 and it feels like it’s part of my name. It may have something to do with me being “particular” – but I prefer to believe it comes from his deep and abiding adoration for me.  In any case, it feels as much of a part of me as any of the other labels so I’m including it!

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